Johann Armendariz

October 4, 2023, is more than just a date to me—it’s the day my life truly began. Before that, I was trapped in a cycle of addiction, self-destruction, and regret. I had lost myself, my purpose, and nearly my family. Sobriety wasn’t just a choice; it was my only way forward. But choosing sobriety and maintaining it are two very different battles. I quickly realized that I couldn’t do it alone.

​Every morning, I check in with my sponsor. These conversations keep me grounded, reminding me that recovery is an active journey, not just a destination. There were days when I felt like I was slipping, but having someone to call—someone who understood—made all the difference. The Grandview Foundation became my lifeline, providing me with structure, support, and, most importantly, hope.

I’ve learned to embrace daily reflections to acknowledge my struggles without letting them define me. My past was riddled with poor decisions—nights in motels, emergency calls I barely remember, and moments of complete powerlessness. Addiction had me believing that I was beyond saving. I thought I was a burden, undeserving of love, family, or a future.

Incarceration stripped me of time with my family, time I can never get back. I missed birthdays, holidays, and ordinary moments that I now cherish. But the day I became an uncle changed everything. Holding my nephew in my arms, ​

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I saw the future I could still have—a future where I wasn’t just existing but truly living.

​Recovery hasn’t been easy. The internal battle between desire and willpower still rages within me. There were times I relapsed, even knowing how much better life could be. But Grandview never gave up on me. They taught me that sobriety isn’t about never falling—it’s about getting back up, again and again, until standing tall becomes second nature.

Re-engaging with mental health care has been another step in my journey. I’ve realized that sobriety isn’t just about quitting substances—it’s about healing. It’s about facing the demons I tried to silence with alcohol. It’s about learning to sit in silence and be at peace with myself.

Today, I find joy in the little things: a quiet morning, a conversation with my family, a moment of stillness without chaos. I no longer feel like I have to run from my past; instead, I’m using it to build a better future. I have goals now—career aspirations, financial independence, a home of my own. And perhaps most importantly, I have a purpose: to help others find the same hope that saved me.

To those still struggling, I want to say this—rock bottom isn’t the end; it’s the beginning. The pain, the regret, the feeling of being lost—it doesn’t have to be forever. Recovery is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone. Grandview helped me find my way, and I know there are people out there who will help you, too.

Sobriety has given me back my life, my family, and my sense of self.

And for that, I am endlessly grateful.

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