![]() My name is Todd Lauder, and I was a functional alcoholic for over 25 years. I could stop drinking for short stretches of time to train and run a marathon, or to give into the ultimatums to quit “or else!” from family. I always ended up going back to the bottle. Over time, I split with my then-wife, my depression grew, and alcohol became a way for me to forget all my problems and failures in life. I started drinking at work, so that I could get through the day. Eventually, I was fired. Before I decided to get sober, life was a blur. I remember waking up shaking, and I would need a pint of alcohol to get my body to a normal state. I met a wonderful woman; she helped guide me to a two-week outpatient program. She never made me feel like I was weak for not being able to quit on my own, which was lucky for me because she helped me get into 4-detox programs before I entered an in-patient program. Her love allowed me to believe I could make a change; for the first time, I had someone in my life who believed in me, who cared about me and would stand by me during the process. I knew I needed a stronger, more intense program than a 2-week program. This is when I walked through the front doors of Grandview to start my journey of recovery. I was reluctant at first, but I knew I needed to embrace it, if I wanted to get control of my life and be truly happy again. I finally had someone who believed in me, it was time for me to believe in myself. Video Story as of August 2023 ![]() While at Grandview I learned the importance of staying busy and developing hobbies. I remember spending time making model cars; I think I may have been an overachiever on that front, as I completed many model cars while in treatment. I still wish there were more hours in the day to be able to do pursue my many newfound interests. Today, my free time is filled with taking care of my fish, running the trails, or thrift store shopping with my mom and wife. One of these days I’ll get back into building model cars again. Today, my life is much better. There have been some ups and downs, including family issues. I have learned how to deal with these problems sober, something I could never do before. Since I’ve been sober, my loving girlfriend has become my loving Wife. I landed a dream job purchasing tropical fish from around the world for people to enjoy in aquariums. And I was able to attend my son's high school graduation without fear that I would embarrass him. I have a simple way of maintaining my sobriety. I imagine two TVs on the wall. One has me coming through the front door after a morning run in the mountains, feeding my fish, and making breakfast for my family. All the things I love. The other TV shows me stumbling out of bed, crawling to the shower with a bottle of booze, hoping to make it through another day. If I hold my sobriety tight, surround myself with my sober support team and reach for help when I need it, I will never have to experience that way of life again. For now, I think about the future for me and my family. My mother lives in the apartment above ours, but I would love to find a beautiful home we could all live in together so I can give my mom the extra care she needs. My dream is to have us all together under one roof. My advice to those coming in to treatment is to stay connected and involved. Whether it be through attending AA meetings and working 12-Steps, enrolling into an outpatient program or moving to sober living - long term recovery requires a community of support. Sobriety is a one day at-time battle, and we need to stay connected to like-minded brothers that know the struggle. FUN TODD FACTS:
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